Mothers

The moment that we breathe
Whether you wanted us or not.
Something stirs inside your heart
 It is over before you start.

We learn your heart, your joys, your depth.
Your hurt, your pain, your wrath.
 We learn strength and grace and keeping on,
 And the most important, how to laugh.

At times you don't know what to say
Or how to make it right.
 But knowing that you stand behind us
That's enough to stay in the fight.

You struggle through those little years
 Piles of diapers, lack of sleep.
 Most everything that shines is dirty
 And when you close your eyes, you weep.

We fail. We fall. We get back up,
Because it's what you taught us how to do.
We want to run before we walk,
 Down a path you would not choose.

 The hard part is trusting God.
 Knowing that you did your best.
 Letting go of what you cherish most.
Taking refuge in His rest.

Thank you for doing the hard things
 In each and every second.
We would not be the people God planned
 Without your guidance, love and affection.

 So when it's hard and you think you can't
 Know that you are loved, cherished and blessed.
 By these people that started out so small
Who know their mother is the very best.

Free

Christ died to set us free. Not to lead us into another form of bondage. Not so we could follow another set of rules, but so we could be free from every yoke of sin and death. Free to follow where Christ leads. Liberated. 

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

Living in freedom means living in the power of the Holy Spirit. Following and listening for the spirit to guide your life. That seems like a hard concept. Especially in our world of self reliance. 

We like the check boxes and the list of rules. How foreign a concept to not follow a list. If A happens then you do B. We get to see the progress of how good we are. Our empires grow and we see the result of our actions in motion. 

To follow Christ is a totally different concept to this world. Christ does not give us a list of boxes to check. He daily gives us acts of service in love. Service is messy. It is hard. You do not see instant results. You see tears, anger, hurt, betrayal, frustrations and then ultimately the beauty in following Christ. There are no hard set rules. People look at what you are doing and it makes no sense. How do you allow this to happen to your children, family and home. 

 God is bigger than anything we can comprehend. He knows everything and we know very little of our circumstances. I can make the decision to listen when the holy spirit leads and every time my outcome is glorifying to God. 

He does not cause harm or confusion. 

You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth? That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you. "A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough." I am confident in the Lord that you will take no other view. The one who is throwing you into confusion, whoever that may be, will have to pay the penalty. Galatians 5:7-10

Choosing to say yes to God in a world that is all about self can be so tough. Most of the time people think you are not doing the right thing. Then you will question if you are doing the right thing. God calls each of us to His kingdom. He has a different Yes for everyone. 

Standing firm in Christ and what the cross did for our freedom will ultimately lead to justification. 

9 Years

This is 9 years

What do I say to the man God placed in my life 9 years ago?  What words that come out of my mouth could do justice? How can I explain the mercy and grace that has been bestowed upon me unfailingly? There is only 1 word. Love.

God changed my perception and knowledge of love when Christ died for me. Sacrifice. Break. Bleed. We have had a first hand look at what it means to sacrifice. What it means to break and bleed. Not that we could ever compare to what Jesus did for human kind, but we can say our marriage has shown us the true nature of God. 

Josh lives sacrificial love. Even when I was not worthy, he endured. Josh always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

Through 9 years we have had crazy. We have screamed, cursed, insulted and broken. We have shared joy and pain. We have clung to each other when there was nothing else earthly to cling too. We have been made stronger by Gods never ending faithfulness. If God is for us, who can be against us? 

This man who I have grown up with these last 9 years is the only person I want to grow old with the next 50 years. I could not imagine doing life without him. He is my rock when I can't see past my own mess. He shows me servant leadership. Most of all he shows me a picture of the love of Christ. 

Praise to God for allowing me the blessing of this man. Happy Anniversary to the best husband and daddy we could ask for. I love you with everything.

Lighthouse

In my wrestling and in my doubts
In my failures you won't walk out
Your great love will lead me through

You are the peace in my troubled sea
You are the peace in my troubled sea

In the silence you won't let go
In the questions Your truth will hold

Your great love will lead me through

You are the peace in my troubled sea
You are the peace in my troubled sea

My lighthouse My lighthouse
Shining in the darkness I will follow you
My lighthouse My lighthouse
I will trust the promise
You will carry me safe to shore

Rend Collective

He does not walk out. We receive him and he never leaves us. He never forsakes us.

Our minds can wander. Satan tries to deceive. The enemy is crafty and wants to pull us away from Jesus. We get lost in our sea of selfishness. My selfish desire to just turn it off. But that's the tricky part.

Isolation leads to destruction.  We feed the lies of the enemy in isolation.

Jesus knows us better than we know ourselves.  We must know ourselves in Christ better than Satan knows us. When the doubt comes we ride the truth of Jesus.

Hide God's word in your heart. It is with this strength and power that we fight our depravity.

The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you they are full of the Spirit and life.  John 6:63

In my doubt I dwell on this.

And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. John 6:39.

Lose=fail to save. Jesus will not fail to save us. He will not lose us. God's will in sending Jesus is so we are not lost.

Do not let lies and darkness guide you. But look to the Lighthouse to carry you safe to shore.

(My computer died while typing this post. Was determined to not let the enemy win so I typed it on my phone. Excuse the spelling errors!)

Bricks

The rubble that was our house is being cleared away. They are busting things up and making the land new. The slate will be clean. Rebuilding will be made possible. 

It was a structure. A place to dwell. The fire burned hot and destroyed everything to ashes. But the bricks remained. The bricks were charred and black but they survived. I wanted those bricks. They were something that I hated when they stood in tact. I complained about the color. I did not like them. I just wanted to paint over them or get a new surface. 

But it is funny how important the surface becomes when you are going to lose it. Those bricks housed my family. Those bricks protected us. They held our cries, our joys, our screams, our laughter, our love. 

I wanted to save some of those bricks to bring into our new home. Our new dwelling place. The thought is to clean them up a little. Leave some of the character and make them even more beautiful. 

When the men came early to clear the mess, I was not prepared. I had not collected my bricks. I cried and panicked. I drove to the house. I called my friend crying. It was a bit of an overreaction. But this meant something to me. I tried to communicate to a Spanish speaking man that I needed those bricks. He looked at me like I was a little CRAZY! I just started hauling bricks to our backyard. My greatest friend came and together we piled those bricks that are going to be made into something beautiful.  

When I asked Jesus to speak His name Boldly, the Spirit came in and started tearing down bricks. My thoughts, feelings, emotions, behaviors and attitudes. They are ugly, charred and gross, but they are still my bricks. Sometimes I want to hold on to those bricks. They were mine for 33 years. They were my feelings, my love, my life. But Jesus claims those bricks now. I give Him ALL my bricks. I ask Him to make them beautiful. That others would see Him when they see my bricks. 

All the character that I have is being refined. All the best parts of me are being used so others can see the ONLY ONE who is worth seeing. Jesus. 

I don't care what my life is or does as long as when people see me, they see HIM. When God asks  something, that I say Yes. Obedient. Loving people as I have been loved by God. Showing Mercy as I have been shown Mercy. Leading others to a life of freedom and of service to the least. 

Therefore, remember that formerly you who are Gentiles by birth and called "uncircumcised" by those who call themselves "the circumcision" (which is done in the body by human hands)- remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ. Ephesians 2:11-13

I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. Ephesians 1:18-19

Redeemed

I am redeemed, you set me free

So I'll shake off these heavy chains and 

Wipe away every stain

Cause I'm not who I used to be

I am redeemed.....I'm redeemed.  

Redeemed. "To buy out," especially for purchasing a slave with a view to his freedom. 

I was a slave. Anger was my master. I walked where it wanted me to walk. I talked like it wanted me to talk. I hated like it asked me to hate. 

I was a slave. Covetousness was my master. I desired and lusted after objects. Consumed by envy over what I was without. Hating those who had more than me. Defeated.

I was a slave. Insecurity was my master. I would not let people see me. I did not want to embrace women as friends. I put on my fake smile all the while slowly dying away on the inside. 

At some point you think, "maybe this is the best it ever gets." This could be normal. The master beats you down so low that even when you can escape, you won't. 

They say call on Him and He will save you. But maybe just maybe the darkness doesn't want to be saved. It's comfortable in the dark. No one really questions you in the dark. You can tell them everything is fine and they believe. 

Part of you screams from your soul. Just rescue me! Just see me. Even though you have no idea what it is you need rescuing from. 

This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God. John 3: 19-21

The deeds are just deeds. The living is your whole self in the everyday walk through this world. 

Fear is a lie. God did not give us a spirit of fear. Bring it to the light. Just one thing at a time. The more you expose it to Christ the more His blood pours out covering you. He broke and bled so we could be free. 

God sent a savior. Not to condemn the world but to save the world through him. John 3:17

You are not judged you are saved. It's already been done. I can tell you He Loves. 

If our Father does not judge, then who are we to judge? We are called out of bondage. The chains that bind you should only be bound to Jesus.

I am not longer a slave to the enemy. I am an ambassador for Jesus. 

For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that in this I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak. Ephesians 6:2

IF

If Gathering happened over the weekend. One woman started with a vision 7 years ago. Jennie Allen. This gathering was held in Austin. 1200 women of all denominations gathered in one building. If Local was women coming together all over the world in homes, churches and theaters to stream the sessions live. 21,000 women. No cost to go. No paid speakers. Only relying on God because He called them to do it and they said Yes.

Theology was different but one theme was strong. JESUS. Lovers of JESUS. The premise was If God is Real...Then what? What do we do about that? How do we live this radical life out? In our gathering of Crosspoint women, hearts were changed. Light overcame Darkness. Freedom was found. Repentance was sought. And Jesus came. Repentance comes before Revival. (Ann Voskamp) We were a body of broken hearts and souls. Wondering what else is there in this life of Pearland. We once were dead in transgressions and sins but because of His GREAT LOVE, His MERCY and His GRACE we are Free. Now take that into our city of Pearland.

 What if we take LOVE, MERCY and GRACE into the lives of those that have not been set free? Not rules and regulations, but JESUS CHRIST. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.

 Ephesians 1:22-23 His fullness fills everything. HIS FULLNESS FILLS EVERYTHING! Not Kristen, Not Angie, Not Katie, Not Laurie, Not Ashley, Not Amber, Not Alyssa, Not Katie E, Not Allyson, Not Crystal. JESUS CHRIST the Chief Cornerstone IN Kristen, Angie, Katie, Laurie, Ashley, Amber, Alyssa, Katie E, Allyson and Crystal. So we as a BODY of BELIEVERS, From the same womb of Jesus. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God LIVES BY HIS SPIRIT. Ephesians 2:21-22

 This is a Revival. We no longer can sit back and hold this in. There is a building of the Holy Temple happening in Pearland Texas. We go out and we show Jesus to those that need him most. We invite others to our party. I was late, so late arriving, but I made it to the party. I want every soul in this city at the Jesus party. God want souls to have the fullness of him who fills everything in every way. No more searching. No more bitterness. No more anger. No more hate. Just Love. Just God.

 How simple and yet how so complex. What can we do now? How will He use you when you choose Yes? He does not call the equipped, but equips the called. I have been called. I have said yes. These other women have said yes. We strive to show His love in our everyday. To each person we come in contact with. What a great redemption for our city if we earnestly choose to walk with Him.

 P.S. Please Pray for my friend Amy McPeaks daughter Meagan. She is very sick in CCU fighting for life.